Marriage

So today is my mom and stepdad's ten year anniversary. So far they're doing better than my dad and stepmom.  So I though about marriage, and got scared again. Most marriages end in divorce and watching my dad (almost) go through with it, it seems like a living hell. I never want that, because even if you do get a divorce, I don't think that you could ever really stop loving that person. At one point you did, and most people say that they still loved that person but they broke it off because they weren't really going anywhere. My parents were never married to each other, and if you ask her, my mother will not hesitate to tell you how much she hates my dad. I'm pretty sure my dad would do the same thing to her. But I still had the pain of not having my parents together and not wanted to hurt the other parents feelings by spending more time with the other parent. I was so scared of my dad as a little kid, and I still am. He's really intimidating and has a strong tempure. Growing up, I though I was such a weird kid because most of my friends' parents were together and mine weren't, but I meet some friends who's parents weren't together, and I felt better. But at least their parents were married when they were born....
When I was five, I swore to myself that I would NEVER put my kid through the pain that I went through. As I got older, I learned that that is a lot easier said than done. I'll never forget the way I felt when my mom would drop me off at my dad's house; I though she was abandoning me because I had done something wrong. So when I would come home I would be a little angle, but got confused when she woud drop me off two weeks later agian, trying to remember what I had done that made her leave me here. So it goes without saying that going to my dad's house seemed more like a punishment than just visiting my dad.
But it's better now. I stopped goin over their in the sixth grade and life has been smooth sense.
I look back on it, and think that anyone who gets married is pretty much setting themselves up for heartbreak. But it's also a good thing, because I think that now that I have that experience in the back of my mind, I'll take marriage seriously and not just get married because it feels right at the time.
Marrige is something that shouldn't be taken lightly, and you really need to know what you're getting yourself into. I'm not saying I'm never going to get married, because that's an expeirence I'm not going to cheat myself out of, just because my parents made mistakes in their past.
But now I joke about marriage. I tell my mom if I ever get married right out of school, it'll be to a thirty year old, because I just get along better with them than I do with people my own age. I like spending time with them, because they're a lot more mature, compared to the people I go to school with, relationship wise.  The thirty year olds that I hang out with (yes, I will admit that I spend my free time with thirty year olds.) act like teenagers but they treat girls/guys with so much more respect and affection than the guys/girls around my age. If I do meet a guy like that who is my age (yeah, right. Like that's gonna happen.) than YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! That's why I don't like to date the guys who go to my school. They're jerks who only care about image and how who they're with affects there popularity. I guess I shouldn't say that because all of my guy friends (that frustrates me so much) are not like that, and I don't know every guy that goes to my school, so I'll give it a try if someone who I don't know very well asks me out and I'm interested. 
quote- You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.-unknown
song- Listen to your heart- dht
word- Marriage
celeb- Nick Groff