Thursday, January 31, 2013

My favorite texts during the month of January

I had to clean up some of these texts. Just a heads up!

January 6th, 2013- *text convo with Emily J (my friend from band)*

me- I'm really tired and I feel sick. I'm surprised I even made it to school today.
Emily- Yeah I could tell you didn't feel good :(
me- I'm not even gonna wear makeup 2moro
Emily- Wow. You MUST be sick...

January...I don't remember the exact day- *text convo with Emily S (who is also from band)*
.....
me- I h8 my name
Emily- Lexi?
Me- no my birth name, Alexis
Emily- Your first car should be A...Lexus. C what I did there?
Me- U have no idea how many times I've heard that
Emily- Your new name is Joey VVM Tyrone.
Me-I get the Joey Tyrone part but not the vvm....
Emily- it's your new middle name. I came up with it when I came up with A-Lexus
Me- What does it stand for?
Emily- Vroom Vroom Muthaf******
Me- U retard :) y r we friends?!


January 15- *text convo with Lindsey*- (this was all during pep band for boys basketball :D)
.....
Lindsey- Sorry....I'm just so emotional....
Me- Well DUH! YOUR SISTERS HAVING A BABY! Is this her first kid?
Lindsey- Yeah she's been trying for a long time and she didn't think that she could have kids, so it's kinda like "SURPRISE MUTHAF******!!"
Me- OMFG! LMAO! So r u in the room with her?
Lindsey- WTF?! Hell no! I don't wanna witness a child birth!
Me- Oh plz! Put on ur big girl panties and deal! Do u have any idea how many child birth's I've witnessed?
Lindsey- Dayum. I didn't think about that. That prolly explains what the hell is wrong with you.
Me- prolly c:

January 15th- *text convo with my friend Emily after pep band*
Emily- You should marry a doctor. Or an EMT
Me- and y should I do tht....
Emily- so you can make lots of money to take me shopping with :)
Me-....just for that, I'll marry a hobo -_-
Emily-Well.....FINE!



January 16th- *Text convo with my friend Emily J(not the one from band)*-
Me- That awesome frickin moment when you can't find the long side of the blanket >:p
Emily- I hate that.
Me- Blankets should be made in a perfect square so that there's no such thing as a 'long side' or a 'short side'
Emily-YES! Let's call the blanket company
Me- Or we could just start our own company....
Emily-Omg, your brilliant!
Me- We're gonna be rich :) shopping time!!
Emily- HELL YES!

January 16th- *text convo with Lindsey*-
.....
Lindsey- You and me both I guess! Well, g'night! May the dream fairies sprinkle good dreams into your dream holes!
Me- Good night! Don't let the demons of hell suck out your soul and leave you to wander the earth lonely and helpless
Lindsey- ...... dafa* is wrong with you?!
Me- I mean.....sweet dreams angle face :)

I don't remember the exact date for this one either but it was in January!- *text convo with Emily J (band)-
....
Emily- Brb. Shower
Me-k
Emily- Guess who's back!
Me-with a brand new rap and I don't mean rap as in a new case of child molestation accusation! HA HA HA HA! No worries! Papa's gotta brand new bag of toys, what else could I possibly do to make noise? I done touched on everything BUT LITTLE BOYS!
Emily- stfu
Me- That's not a stab at Michael that's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho, I go a little bit crazy sometimes I get a little bit out of control with MY RHYMES
Emily- I hate you
Me- </3
Emily- I sowwy :(
Me-.....
Emily- I said I'm sorry!
Me- mama! I never meant to hurt you! I never meant to make you cry but tonight, I'm cleaning out my closet :)
Emily- I should have seen that one coming -_-
Me- Just a lil bit :)
Emily-I'm gonna tell a friend from church bout this
Me- what are you gonna do? >:)
Emily....tell a friend....
Emily- oh sh**!
Me- I've created a monster! Cuz nobody wants to see marshal no more, they want Shady I'm chopped liver! Well if you want me this is what I'll give ya- a lil bit of w*** mixed with some hard liquor some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the doctor when im not cooperating, when I'm rockin the table WHILE HE'S OPERATING
Emily- Your a disaster
Me- such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you asked for me? Well I'm back na na na na na na na fix your bent antenna, tune it in and then i'm gonna enter in, ending up in your skin like a splinter the center of attention back from the winter, i'm interesting the best thing since wrestling infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Emily- ya done?
Me- yeah :)

I don't know that exact date when this happened (I know it was some time in my eighth grade year) but I wanted to share it with you guys anyways- *text convo with Lindsey*
Me- I have a joke for you that I found on fb >:)
Lindsey- k shoot
Me- Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Lindsey- Idk y?
Me- She had no arms
Lindsey- omg!
Me- knock knock
Lindsey- who's there?
Me- Not Sally :)

January 19th- *text convo with Emily J(band)*-
.....
Me- I hate him (Emily and I were talking about Macklemore) so much. Really, 4 no apparent reason I wanna cut him open rip out his large intestines and strangle him with them.
Emily-Violent much?
Me- No, not at all. Where would you get that idea? ;)

January 20th 2013-
Me- Dude I swear, Im being stalked by a ghost
Emily- Who ya gonna call? GHOST BUSTERS!
Me- So you can run until that ;)
(If you guys have no idea why that's funny, here's a link- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKsVSBhSwJg)

January 23 2013- Text convo with Lindsey
Lindsey- I figured out y we're single
Me-Good. I've been wondering 
Lindsey- cuz we're confident and smart
Me- ....sure.
Lindsey- ur not saying it right :(
Me- fine....HELLS YEAH!
Lindsey- Hells yeah? okay maybe not the 'smart' part for some of us
Me- HEY! Aint nobody got time for dat :)

January 23 2013- text convo with my friend Matt
.....
Matt- She seems like she'd like to go shopping. I dunno why...well she is a girl...
Me- lol yeah that'd be a good reason :)

January 24 2013- *text convo with my friend Alyssa O*-
Alyssa- Hey gurl! How'd u do on the Spanish final?
Me- Pretty good! I got a 90%
Alyssa- ......I h8 having smart friends. How'd you do on the Science final?
Me- I gotta 99%
Alyssa- fu. Just....fu

January 29th 2013- Text convo with Emily J (band)
.....
(today school was canceled so I ended having to babysit)
 me- Earlier Xavier wanted me to cut him up some cheese for lunch so I did. He just told me that he was full. So I was going to bus his food when I realized that he ate his cheese into the shape of Minnesota *pic of the food*
Emily- Good Xavier!
Me- I figured you'd say something like that. So instead of throwing away the food, I decided to be logical and flushed it down the toilet
Emily-....you didn't...
Me- I did.  >:)
-she didn't text me back after that :)

January 31st- *text convo with my friend Kayla*-
Kayla- do you know how to tell if someone's from Wisconsin?
Me- If they drive their snowmobile to church
Kayla- no! if the like cheese! Sh!t Tyrone, get it together
Me- Ain't nobody got time for dat


quote- Love is evol, spell it backwards, I'll show ya.- Eminem 'Space Bound'
song- Like Toy Soldiers- Eminem (Love love love the song, but I absolutely hate the intro/chorus. But you guys should check it out! Here a link to the music video which is pretty good too- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lexLAjh8fPA)
word- Evol
celeb- Jenna Marbles (not a real celeb but she should be!)
ecards-

HAHA! Can I get a 'Hell yeah'?!






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