Marriage

So today is my mom and stepdad's ten year anniversary. So far they're doing better than my dad and stepmom.  So I though about marriage, and got scared again. Most marriages end in divorce and watching my dad (almost) go through with it, it seems like a living hell. I never want that, because even if you do get a divorce, I don't think that you could ever really stop loving that person. At one point you did, and most people say that they still loved that person but they broke it off because they weren't really going anywhere. My parents were never married to each other, and if you ask her, my mother will not hesitate to tell you how much she hates my dad. I'm pretty sure my dad would do the same thing to her. But I still had the pain of not having my parents together and not wanted to hurt the other parents feelings by spending more time with the other parent. I was so scared of my dad as a little kid, and I still am. He's really intimidating and has a strong tempure. Growing up, I though I was such a weird kid because most of my friends' parents were together and mine weren't, but I meet some friends who's parents weren't together, and I felt better. But at least their parents were married when they were born....
When I was five, I swore to myself that I would NEVER put my kid through the pain that I went through. As I got older, I learned that that is a lot easier said than done. I'll never forget the way I felt when my mom would drop me off at my dad's house; I though she was abandoning me because I had done something wrong. So when I would come home I would be a little angle, but got confused when she woud drop me off two weeks later agian, trying to remember what I had done that made her leave me here. So it goes without saying that going to my dad's house seemed more like a punishment than just visiting my dad.
But it's better now. I stopped goin over their in the sixth grade and life has been smooth sense.
I look back on it, and think that anyone who gets married is pretty much setting themselves up for heartbreak. But it's also a good thing, because I think that now that I have that experience in the back of my mind, I'll take marriage seriously and not just get married because it feels right at the time.
Marrige is something that shouldn't be taken lightly, and you really need to know what you're getting yourself into. I'm not saying I'm never going to get married, because that's an expeirence I'm not going to cheat myself out of, just because my parents made mistakes in their past.
But now I joke about marriage. I tell my mom if I ever get married right out of school, it'll be to a thirty year old, because I just get along better with them than I do with people my own age. I like spending time with them, because they're a lot more mature, compared to the people I go to school with, relationship wise.  The thirty year olds that I hang out with (yes, I will admit that I spend my free time with thirty year olds.) act like teenagers but they treat girls/guys with so much more respect and affection than the guys/girls around my age. If I do meet a guy like that who is my age (yeah, right. Like that's gonna happen.) than YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! That's why I don't like to date the guys who go to my school. They're jerks who only care about image and how who they're with affects there popularity. I guess I shouldn't say that because all of my guy friends (that frustrates me so much) are not like that, and I don't know every guy that goes to my school, so I'll give it a try if someone who I don't know very well asks me out and I'm interested. 
quote- You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.-unknown
song- Listen to your heart- dht
word- Marriage
celeb- Nick Groff

20th century savvy's 50th post!

YYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU GGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSS!

THIS IS IT! OUR 50TH BLOG POST!  To celebrate, I'm gonna make a list of fifty of my favorites-

1. flower- oversized white trumpet calla lily (as on the right)
2. color- purple/candy blue
3. movie- the corpse bride
4. actor- Matthew Gray Gubler 
5. actress- Paget Brewster
6. rapper- Eminem
7. punk rock band- Linkin Park
8. pop artist- Katy Perry
9. country artist- Carrie Underwood
10. band- Evanescence  
11. Favorite song I listened to in the last twenty four hours- Face Down by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
12. coffee- Berry White Mocha Light, hot, with non-fat whip (from caribou)
13. state- Massachussets
14. quote- "they call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken." -unknown
15. show- Wilfred (Every Thursday, on FX at 9:00)
16. name for a girl that I plan on using for my daughter- Rosalie
17. name for a girl that I probably wont use- Pru (short for Prudence which I hate, but the short version is cute)
18. name for a boy that I'll use if I ever have a son- Bently
19. name for a boy that I probably wont use- Leo
20. instument- Bass Drum
21. name for a dog-(boy) Wilfred/Wilfy for short
22. name for a dog-(girl) Bean
23. name for a cat-(boy) Tippy (the name of my cat) You can probably name a girl cat Tippy too I guess...but it only works if you're cat has a white tip on his tail. If he doesn't then you're screwed. HA!
24. name for a cat- (girl) Maui (it took my mom a while to get that one. If your like my mother, which I doubt God would put us through that much torture (JK! Love ya Mom!) it's cute cause it's a cat and cats meow....and there's an Island called Maui...and it sounds like meowy...)
25. favorite movie charactor- B. Rabbit (8 mile)
26. favorite awkward moment I experinced- when I realized that my mom is so gangster she could thrive in the ghettos
27. month- may
28. number- 4
29. store- hot topic
30. shoes- Wedges
31. holiday- Christmas
32. Video on youtube- Aaron's vlog, Cookie Time/Aaron's vlog manamana  
33. letter- A
34. word- disrespectation
35. project- making a movie trailer for my 8th grade advanced Lit class (if you wanna, you can check it out on youtube. It's called "And then there were none and the hound of the baskervilles movie trailer." the audio sucks, and I look like crap but it was super fun to film and edit. Jump to 1:21 to skip the crappiest part of the audio.)
36. favorite part of being on my period- everyone leaves me alone :)
37. favorite thing that happened in the 8th grade- December Flash Mob (Also on youtube!)
38. favorite class- art
39. favorite grade so far- 8th
40. my favorite little sibling- Piper
41. my favorite older sibling- Steve
42. hobby- rapping
43. day of the week- Wednesday
44. horror movie- The Ring
45. arizona- Pina Colada
46. favorite cell phone that i've ever had- my blackberry storm which busted last year :(
47. name for a fish- Jada (the Bata)
48. hair color- purplish black
49. eye color- blue and green
50. housewife- Kyle Richards

Things that bother me, but dont seem to bother anybody else....

I make myself sick to my stomack thinking about these things. They make me feel so scared, alone, and small. And they make everything else in the world seem so pointless and fake, almost like a prop.
I'm not kidding you guys, when I think about this I do get so scared I shake and I feel sick like I'm about to throw up or like I'm getting my period. ( I had to put both in there, because it turns out that guys DO read my blog post, and they're not gonna know what menstral cycles feel like.)

• Forever is a long a$$ time, so I don't know what I'm gonna do once I get up to the gates-o-Heaven. That seriously scares the living s*** outta me. When I think about it I feel all alone and scared.
• Space goes on forever.....(again, there's that damn word) Serously, you think space would run outta space at one point. And what if it does end? What comes after that?
• If we're gonna end up in Heaven or Hell one day, what the hell are we doing down here first?
• Why dont they mention Dinosaurs in the Bible? (this one doesn't scare me as much as the others)
• What's the point of life, if one day we're all gonna die anyways?
• Is reincarnation real? If it is, does that mean I'm legaly possesed? (this one doesn't really scare to much either.)
• How the hell does your soul become trapped, and if it does happen, how do you get it untrapped?
• WHY THE HELL AM I BOTHERED BY THIS BUT NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO NOTICE OR CARE???????????

I feel a little better after letting it all out, but I'll be scared about it again soon. That's another reason why I love school and come to it everyday; it distracts me from these questions that are rotting me from the inside out. But I guess there only one thing a christian girl like me can do- put my trust and faith in God and make Him take my mind off this crap. Wow, this just got religious....only Bollywood.....

quote- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.  It is already tomorrow in Australia.  ~Charles Schulz. *sigh* I'll do another one-Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.  ~Attributed to both Jason Hutchison and John Benfieldsong- Nelly Just a Dream (listening to it right now)
word- forever(that word will never be the same again O_O)
celeb- Zak Bagans.

How to wear it, week three

Hey guys! It's already week three! This week will be how to wear rubber bracelets. Rubber bracelets are one of the coolest things in the world! They can raise awareness, give an outfit some flare, raise money for a charity/ good cuase, and are very self expressive. I've had a ton of rubber bracelets, but my personal favs are my "Eminem", "Slim Shady", and "Hi! My name is", which are all related to Eminem (Duh). They have started some pretty indepth conversations with lots of people and just brought us together a lot like music does.  Which is what it so beautiful about them! I bonded with some people and expressed myself over a stip of colored rubber. It's a very subtle, but to the point, way of self- expression.

Boys/girls-

rules- match bracelets with colors in your outfit. This is kind of a backwards rule. You should at least have one bracelet per color in outfit, but if your shirt is green than you should have only two green bracelets. Basicly, the more key piece the item, the less bracelets in that color. That being said, since your shoes are considered an accessorie, you should have more bracelets in that color. If one of your key pieces has more than one color, (i.e, a multi-colored plaid shirt.) find the more dominat color and stick with it. This picture below is a good example. The dominate color in this piece is obviously pink so you shouldn't have to worry about wearing yellow bracelets. Just stick to the one color.

If you have a very base outfit (which just means that you're outfit consists heavily in base colors; white, black, and grey.) than find you're brightest and most colorful bracelets. No rules on how many based on color in your outfit. I find red works best with white, green with grey, and yellow with black. Just make sure you have more than one color, whether your outfit is base or colorful.

how to wear it- just follow the rules and there's no reason why it shouldn't work. :D

quote- Hey, I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's!-unknown 
celeb- Joan Rivers
song- into you, Jennifer Lopez featuring Lil Wayne (listening to it right now.) 
word- Sambraro (unicorn wearing a Sambraro!)  

Pregnancy

Yesterday, there was a "16 and pregnant" marathon, and like any typical teen, I watched some of it. Holy %#@* you guys! I swear, I really dont want to be pregnant at that age or any age close to that. If you know me personally, you know that school is pretty much my escape. I takes me away from my family for an amazing seven hours, with nothing else to do but be social and distract myself with homework. I dont want to ruin that. People who are pregnant before graduation pretty much have no social life. For me, no social life means no life. If I do become pregnant at sixteen, or around that age, I can kiss being a criminologist good-bye. To pay for that baby, I'm probably going to have to use my colloge money, and colloge has been a dream of mine sense ever. But lets say I do become pregnant around that age-

• there is no way that I'm getting an abortion. Hell to the no.
• there is no way in Hell, ANYONE is gonna take my baby away from me. Colloge (im not even sure if I'm spelling that right) may be a dream of mine, but so is being a mother. Adoption is a beautiful thing, but so is motherhood. I'd die of heartbreak seeing my baby call somebody else "mommy."
• I'm not going to expect the father to be around. I learned from my parents and now know that unplanned parenthood is a lot scarier for the father than it is for the mother. Although I feel bad for my mom because of what happened between my parents when I was born, I'm also happy, because I could learn from their example.

hopefully, none of the above ever happen to me before I'm ready for it. Now lets say my daughter gets pregnant young-

• Some people kick their kids out when they get pregnant. Why in the Hell would you do that?!?! That is YOUR child, even if she is about to have one of her own. She is scared, clueless, isnt going to be able to support her and the baby, has a very good chance of becoming a single mom, and needs her mom there to hold her hand through it all and to give her all the love and support that she needs. I feel that if you kick your pregnant child out, your pretty much setting themselves up for suicide. To be honest, that's how I would feel. I had a really deep conversation with my mom awhile ago, and asked her what she would do if I were pregnant at a young age. She said nothing would change. I'm still her child, she loves me, and she will always be there for me, no matter what stupid desicion I have made.  But lets say she did kick me out-
• I'd be so scared
• I wouldn't have a clue what to do
• I probably wont have that much money
• The father is probably gonna run from it all.
• no social life
• no sparkling, bright, potential future

the only thing I would see is a way out. There should be no question what that way is.

How to wear it, week 2

 This weeks focus is moved to sequins. And sinse I dont know that many guys who would wear sequins optionaly and independently, it's specifically for girls.

There are three different ways to wear them-

first way- leggings

rules- no rules

how to wear it- tone down a pair a sequined leggings with a vintage tee and a black or dark vest (cropped or regular length, whatever you like.)

second way- key pieces

rules- high impact or "key pieces" of an outfit need to be dark, if thry're sequined. If you like bright pieces, limit it to your accesories.  An example of a key piece would be a jacket, shirt, leggings, etc, etc. accecosories range from jewelry, purses, headbands, shoes and things of that catagory.

how to wear it- depends on what your key piece is. Just remember to follow the rules.

third way- preppy

rules- no rules

how to wear it- for a preppy vibe, stick to a touch of sequins instead of full-on.

Directly above is a perfect example of what should be toned down to accesories.

quote- if i had known this was going to happen, i never would have given him a second thought.- AJT
song- face down-red jumpsuit appartus
celeb- Kyle Richards (my fav housewife EVER! She understands what I'm going through...hang in there and be strong Kyle! Sadly, your not alone....)
word- regret

the next top 20 list

This months list will be centered around actors/actresses and singers/bands.

actors/actresses-

1. Paget Brewster
2. Matthew Gray Gubler
3. Joe Mantagna
4. Sandra Bullock
5. Johnny Depp
6. Nikki Reed
7. Jackson Rathbone (another musician! He used to be a lot cuter, but than he just let himself go....check him out on google and you'll see what I mean. Actually dont. I'll just post before and after pictures.)
8. Morgan Freeman
9. Sarah Jessica Parker
10. Robert Downey Jr.

singers/bands/groups-

1. Eminem
2. Linkin Park
3. Akon
4. Jason Derulo
5. Nickelback
6. Florence and the Machine
7. Soulja Boy
8. Nicki Minaj
9. Sean Paul
10. Christina Aguilera